212 Search Results for "about"
- most recent
- highest rated
- most viewed
- top favorites
- most comments
-
i wish
- From: Kathrin
-
Description:
(copied from my blog)
i could turn my life around. like a big, noticeable change. cutting hair doesnt help. cleaning up a whole day, taking a long hot shower doesnt help to start fresh again. i want something noticeable, something feelable, something significant.
i want more health, more energy.
more energy and power to get all my artist ideas done. mostly i dont even finish thinking.
i want people around me i like, love and adore. people who are an inspiration.
i want more adventure, more excitement. i wanna be in the spotlight. i wanna try out and learn many things.
kinda difficult to put it into words. these things im feeling.
its like..you know tomorrow i wanna wake up feeling relaxed and full of energy. i wanna meet with some people i really click with and make some video projects. loading it up on youtube. something really cool.
on monday after work i still wanna feel everything but tired meeting someone i take photos of. or having an idea for a cool photoproject on my own and being able to do it (time, money, possibilites). the next day i wanna have an appointment at my agency (i dont have one) for making photos. the day after it i wanna be in a acting workshop. stuff like that. i want to travel. i wanna see places and meet people.
no worries about time, money AND energy.
someone up there, please give me the possibilities to do so because i am stuck. thank you.
- Blog post
- 2 weeks ago
- Views: 28
- Not yet rated
-
magic week, a cat story
- From: Kathrin
-
Description:
something magical just happened. needs some background info, hope i get it all together.
we have a woman in our close neighbourhood, i use to call her the cat-woman. she has one own cat and takes care about all cats here in the neighbourhood. they all come to her. she moved here..like over a year ago i guess. we sometimes talk, of course ;)
back in 2003 my mother and i took care about a wildcat here. she was shy at first then we could touch her and all. a few month later, 11th october 2003 she died. we found her dead under one of her fav trees. we were sad. the next days i always felt her and these were the days i say a wild, young, male cat for the very first times. exactly one week after we said goodbye to the old wild cat - it even was the same hour - my mother and i went down the street and that wild young cat sat there. i told my mother: look there he is but he will run away (he used to be so shy the first times i saw him). he didnt run away, not at all. he went with us, not letting us go. do i have to tell more? his name is felix and he is living with us since then (at my parents house three minutes away from me).
so..this is this week again. the days between 11th - 18th october.
its evening right now, its dark. nice air though. i decided to go for a little work. i rarely do that. five minutes away from my appartment there was a car stopping. a woman got out. a cat run to her. it was so cute. the woman looked at me (dark, couldnt see her face) and i said something like: thats i welcome id like to have too!
it was the cat woman. she told me she is feeding this one stray cat since march. we stood there a while talking, feeding, playing with this damn cute cat. i said i would take her (dont ask me why i said that) and she said she already is worried about winter + the time she is away for work in january. i told her id take care of the cat then. and seriously she (the cat) could come to my place. tomorrow we will meet again at the same time. and maybe at one point we will try to get that cute cat closer to my appartment. maybe it works. but it surely is magic week! - Blog post
- 1 month ago
- Views: 33
- Not yet rated
-
blog post
- From: Kathrin
-
Description:
i copied that from my blog (hope it works)
so i would have much to tell. but as soon as i sit here i dont remember what it was. or my english sounds worse. im out of training. weather is autumn weather now. rain most of the time. my mood changes alot. october blues. taking part at the art in the shopping window project here. lots of stores let artists show their stuff for one month. i got my photos up on tuesday and on friday when i checked some of them are loosening from the paper. hard to describe (picture below). looks bad. will be fixed tomorrow. embarassing. thank you suddenly heat and sun. too bad that yesterday was the official opening for that event. lots of people were there, press too. the woman who organized that event (with other people of course) went up to me telling me my photos are..loosing their position. told her i already knew and i gonna fix it. some more blah blah. one reporter heard it and came up to me asking questions. he later took photos from me and another "photography artist" in front of "my" store. i seriously hope he wont write anything mean about my photos. at least i took care of not having the "loosing it" photos in the focus. the other artist-photographer was pretty arrogant. i googled him and he fits this town. the reporter made some "mean" comments about people here and the town. i guess he is right. this small town is so weird. even for a small town. people are so..depressed. there is no fun, no sparkle, no adventure, no glitter, no creativity, no inspiration in this small town. thats all i miss here. people to connect with who arent that..half-dead. or scandalmongers. i want something different. i wonder about people here everyday. and wonder about how to find people i could connect with. anyway i ddi update my web. there now is a photography in (more or less) english too. if you want to check it out. feel free to tell me if anything isnt working! photography under the "about me" link you come to a page (another of my domains) with links where to find me online. like twitter, deviantart...
- Blog post
- 1 month ago
- Views: 40
- Not yet rated
-
Oct 7, 2009: Jenni Schaefer FR
- From: ktlrgc
-
Description:
###
For Immediate release
MentorCONNECT
Contact: Shannon Cutts
Phone: 713-906-9888
Email: mc@key-to-life.com
www.key-to-life.com/mentorconnectAttention: Eating Disorders Events
RE: Best-Selling Author Jenni Schaefer presents a FREE teleconference for MentorCONNECT
Sept. 28, 2009 – Jenni Schaefer, popular best-selling author of “Life Without Ed” and “Goodbye Ed, Hello Me” will present a FREE teleconference on Wednesday, October 7th, 2009, at 8pm central time. All are welcome to attend. RSVP’s are required.
This event is sponsored by MentorCONNECT, the first global eating disorders mentoring organization. Since its inception in September 2007, MentorCONNECT grown to have a presence in 32 USA states and 10 countries, and has sponsored free events featuring such notable authors and speakers as Thom Rutledge, Dr. Carolyn Becker, Doris Smeltzer, and others.
Event Details:
To Register: Send an email with “RSVP for Jenni” to mc@key-to-life.com
RSVP Deadline: October 7th at noon
For More Info: Contact MentorCONNECT Founder Shannon Cutts at 713-906-9888 or mc@key-to-life.com
View Event Flyer: You may also view the event flyer online here: http://www.key-to-life.com/storage/mentorconnect/MC.Jenni.9_09.pdf
More About MentorCONNECT:
MentorCONNECT is the first global online eating disorders mentoring community. Membership and all services are always free to members, and certain events are also opened up to the larger community. In addition to offering one-on-one mentoring matches, membership includes access to a password-protected, moderated, PRO-recovery community forum with two live weekly e-support groups, periodic retreats and special events, a wide variety of online themed support groups, recovery blogs, personalized profile pages, the ability to upload photos/ videos/ songs/ artwork, and moderated chat/email services. To volunteer your services as a caring mentor, be matched with a mentor, or find general support, visit us at www.key-to-life.com/mentorconnect.
# # # - Blog post
- 2 months ago
- Views: 16
- Not yet rated
-
Things
- From: Shadoe
-
Description:
Just an fyi, I've been blogging on my special blog if anyone cares to view it at http://www.shadoeworks.com/adifferentcorner I'll try transferring them over here. I've just been trying to put them in one place for my future use. So you can either catch my blog at the URL above or when I get them posted here.
Also if you are on Twitter or Facebook let's be friends there too!
Also a shout out to everyone to check out some of my Canadian friends Sara Kamin with her new CD "The Music In Me", Dawn Langstroth's new CD "Highwire" and of course Jann Arden's new CD "Free". They are 3 talented ladies, great singers & songwriters... please check them out on Twitter & Facebook.
Also don't forget that Barbara is also on Twitter & Facebook so be sure to follow here in both places. She currently is trying to get through the craziness of the speaking and getting books and stuff off the ground. We also have talked about doing a video contest... so if you have a Flip or any other video camera get ready to be part of it once we have things worked out!
Later!
Shadoe
- Blog post
- 2 months ago
- Views: 22
- Not yet rated
-
Why Baby Steps? I want to be r
- From: Andrea
-
Description:
I always hated when someone told me that recovery means taking baby steps. I didn't want to take baby steps. I wanted to take big huge steps and be done with my eating disorder and get on with my life. But unfortunately, this is not how it works...we have to learn to be patient, we have to learn to be kind to ourselves. And these are all important lessons that recovery teaches us.
Recovery is a process. It takes time. Recovery does not happen overnight. Your eating disorder started years before you first binged, purged or starved yourself - and it will take time to overcome this disorder. And there is no rule for how long it takes for someone to recover. We all have different stories to tell, different reasons why we developed our eating disorders, and we are all at different points in our lives.
Sometimes it feels like we are not moving at all and are not getting anywhere with recovery. In those moments, it's important to look back, look at all these baby steps and see how far we have come already. It is important to celebrate these baby steps. Like when you didn't binge, or ate something you wouldn't normally eat and not feel guilty about it or when you were just about to buy laxatives but put them back onto the shelf and left the store without them. Be proud of yourself for moments like that! Yes, you can be proud of yourself. This is a huge achievement! Every baby step is a big victory.
It's one day at a time. One step at a time. One step at a time may seem too slow some days but these small steps add up to making a HUGE difference. Each of these baby steps brings us closer to recovery and a life free of ED (your eating disorder).
I’d like to share with you something that eating disorder therapist and best-selling author Carolyn Costin, who recovered herself from anorexia over thirty years ago, said to me a little while ago: “I’ve lived long enough to know that you can be absolutely recovered—where food and weight take a natural, normal perspective in your life. And you don’t deal with it one day at a time. It’s important to tell people you can recover. It’s crucial.” I agree with Carolyn. And it is in my hopes that you remember this message on your journey when you get frustrated with baby steps. Always remember, there is a way out and recovery really IS possible!
Andrea
PS. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me. I always welcome your messages!
PPS. For more information about me and to find out more about my recovery, visit www.youarenotalonebook.com
- Blog post
- 3 months ago
- Views: 27
- Not yet rated
-
butterflies :)
- From: nerina
-
Description:
As of this morning butterflies are officially running wild in my stomach. :) This friday I will be graduating law school after defending my master's thesis. I keep telling myself that I've done scarier things and have given presentations to a much larger crowd, but that doesn't stop me from feeling nervous. I am very confident about my thesis and can talk about it for hours on end, but I just don't know what to expect. Hence, the butterflies. :) (which will probably disappear when I take the stage).
Anyway, have a great day everyone!
- Blog post
- 3 months ago
- Views: 34
- Not yet rated
-
My new job
- From: JustinMurphy
-
Description:
In addition to the freelance articles I write for Associated Content, I'll now be writing a short column three times a week about none other than Steven Spielberg!
Here's the first column:
Justin
- Blog post
- 3 months ago
- Views: 27
- Not yet rated
-
Summer-The good & The Bad
- From: LiLi22
-
Description:
I can't believe summer is coming to an end and that school is almost back in session.
The first half of my summer wasn't how I had planned on spending it. But it probably saved my life. I completed a one week inpatient program at a local rehab facility and then seven weeks of iop. I have met a lot of great people this summer--so that has been a plus. In the midst of this I was able to take some time away from work which was really good. I think everyone needs a good break from work sometimes.
Towards the end of July the weekend before my birthday I spent the weekend in North Carolina. I was looking forward to a nice relaxed weekend, but my aunt had other plans ---> an eight miles kayaking trip. It only took about ten minutes til I fell out into the freezing cold water. (Remember any water located near mountains in higher elevations is not warm or even close to it)
School starts back up again in less than two weeks. I decided to take it easy this semester and just take three classes. Anyone else been affected by a tuition rate increase? Where I leave they increased tuition by 5%. Just for three classes it's $2600- not including the $350 in school fees and books this year are about $480.
But overall it has been a wonderful summer. I've made a lot of new friends, been able to take time away from work, and spend a lot of time with my family. Enjoy the rest of your summer!
- Blog post
- 3 months ago
- Views: 37
- Not yet rated
-
and in the end
- From: Kathrin
-
Description:
i think of giving up.
since i am 11 all i wanted to do is acting. it never, ever worked out for me (okay..just once).
when i was that age and a little older i was searching for a theater group. i remember looking though adds again and again. whenever there was something id call but it never worked out. i was too young, that group didnt have enough people and got chancelled...stuff like that. i one saw an add with place and date to be and went there and the people there were like "what group? ah..no, not enough people blahblah".
and now, many years later its still the same thing. group doesnt exist anymore, doesnt fit with my work. workshops get chancelled or i dont have enough money. that one (and almost only) agency in town never replies to email or phone. dont ask me how many times i tried to contact them. i try every chance i get but its like no connection. i dont know whats left to do.
so im saying goodbye to this dream. i mean everything in my life since years has "acting" (and living in the states) in the end. thats what i wanna see when i look back when im old, you know.
but maybe im just wasting my time. maybe its time to say goodbye to that.
its funny (in a weird way) when i think about it. whats gonna be there for this dream? how to fill that hole? i have to change alot of my thinking. what am i looking forward too, what do i want now? hows my life going to be?i dont find the right words for how this feels, im sorry.so, these are my wednesday thoughts.
- Blog post
- 3 months ago
- Views: 57
- Not yet rated
-
all that luck
- From: Kathrin
-
Description:
im still smiling about the letter i got from that three-year-old-girl.finally i updated my webpages. and i got back www.glittertrashprincess.de
that one was my very first domain ages ago and at one point i just gave up on it. and did regret it esp when some stupid people used it for even more stupid advertisment. two weeks ago i saw it was free again and got it back. no idea what to do with it so i only made a small index-page which i actually like.
and i too updated my photography page .
yesterday i read the newspaper and saw that they are doing one project in my town again. its called "art in the shop window" and everyone who calls himself an artist can apply. if they (people from town-marketing) choose you you can show your art for one month in a shop window in town. i did that 2007 (2008 wasnt anything like that) and when i read the article i called the woman responsible for it and we had a nice talk. she said the application papers are already on my way and that this time she will try to get me a better window (more in the city). so my chances are high i guess :D
this and next year the exhibition in the hall of the old peoples home (huge place)- gotta lucky with photography :)
a few weeks ago i wrote a story about my cat (in german) and it got published in a small magazine in my town. actually its a webpage (myheimat.de) , a community-thing but they publish magazines every two month with photos and articles written by people from our city.and some other woman asked if they can publish it in their magazine - they are an association who rescue and take care of cats.
two days ago i wrote another pet-related story and posted it online at myheimat.de and got lots of positive comments :)
im thinking of translating both stories into english
so if someone offers to read and correct them id be very happy...!another thing making me happy are my budgies. they kinda got a castle to live in and i managed to get it up all alone
so..these were the good things i just needed to share :)
- Blog post
- 4 months ago
- Views: 112
- Not yet rated
-
Has Anybody Seen My Shadow?
- From: Shadoe
-
Description:
For those that read this post in it's squished together form on Facebook. Please visit the "actual" formatted post here http://tinyurl.com/nuozz4 or you can read me at http://www.kickapps.com/barbaraniven and just look for Shadoe <--- that's me!
*************************************************
Sometimes I see shadows of me. I see them out of the corner of my eye and as soon as I look they're gone. They hide in places I can not see, only to peer out at me through a sliver of light. I wonder if they know me at all, I mean they follow me every where. I can never seem to shake them. They sit with me sometimes when I'm... well sitting. I try to talk to them to find out what and wherefore, but they never talk back. Guess they don't talk much... I guess they really don't talk at all. I see shadows of me and each one seems a bit different, but I can never get them in a group. They only want to hang with me one at a time. They seem rather shy at times cause they kinda sneak up on me and sometimes only let part of themselves be seen. And then there are those times they bump into other shadows and I have no idea what is going to happen next. Do they ever say excuse me in shadow talk? Do they ever NOT do what I do? Damn copycats.
We have shadows, we hide in shadows.
Without being aware of it sometimes we hide in shadows when the people who we care about ask questions. Or we hide in shadows when we don't want to say what we feel or don't feel. Or what we do or don't do. I wonder if everyone finds it hard to be completely open with others. Maybe that isn't possible. Maybe that would make us too vulnerable. Maybe it's our shield to protect ourselves from hurt. Maybe sometimes it's our shield to protect others from hurt. And maybe sometimes it's both and it allows us to be protected and hide in the shadow of angels.
All of this is not about the bad things associated with shadows, it's about living with them, understanding them, knowing that we all have them. That for as dark as they seem to be that in them there is light. For without light, we have no shadows and we'd be left in ourselves and around us with complete darkness.
Guess my shadow isn't so bad to have around... *looking at my shadow* Hey, wanna follow me? ;)
It's art, it's open to interpretation... have at it! :)
"The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree."
~ Stephen Wright - Blog post
- 4 months ago
- Views: 91
- Not yet rated
-
A Valuable Lesson
- From: Andrea
-
Description:
I'd like to share with you something I recently read in a newsletter. It's something that touched me and I hope it does the same for you...
A motivational speaker liked to begin his presentation by holding up a $20 bill and asking, “Who in this room would like this crisp, new $20 bill?”
Of course, every hand in the room would shoot up. Then the speaker would crumple the bill, throw it on the floor, and step on it. Then he would ask, “Now who still wants it?”
All the hands would naturally stay raised.
Then the speaker would smile and say, “Think about this: Nothing I did to this money made it decrease in value. It was still worth $20 after I stepped on it. There’s a valuable lesson here. “
“Often in our lives, we are crumpled up, dropped and stepped on, both by the decisions we make and by what happens to us. You may feel worthless. But remember, no matter what happens to you, you will never lose your value. Our worth doesn’t come from what we look like or what happened to us, but from WHO WE ARE. You’re all special—you all have value. Don’t EVER forget that.“
All the best,
Andrea
PS. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me. I always welcome your messages!
PPS. For more information about me and to find out more about my eating disorder recovery, visit www.youarenotalonebook.com
- Blog post
- 4 months ago
- Views: 84
-
Days of Our Lives
- From: Shadoe
-
Description:
For those that read this post in it's squished together form on Facebook. Please visit the "actual" formatted post here http://tinyurl.com/mcfdcc or you can read me at http://www.kickapps.com/barbaraniven and just look for Shadoe <--- that's me!
*****************************************************
The last few days... actually the last 6 months I've been dealing with something. Part of that something I thought I was coming to terms with came back last Thursday, the loss of Farrah and Michael Jackson. It has to do with what will I leave behind when I'm no longer here. I guess at some point we all wonder... I wonder how we can not.
I know I must make every second count, not minutes, not days, not months, not years, but seconds. I must squeeze out everything I can. Do everything I can. Love everyone I can in every second I breathe.
It gets hard looking at the time we spend on just making a living, just to live. But is that really living? If you are all like me, of course you have to make a living to live... it's kinda funny how the world works and turns on that little philosophy.
But think about it. What did you do yesterday or the day before or the day before that? How many of you can say you did no work of any kinda but instead listened to the birds sing or the wind rustle the trees? Today, a Monday morning, how many of you can say you are doing exactly what your heart wants to do and be at this moment? How many of you are truly living your destiny?
I think we are all so caught up in making a living to live, we don't really live. We believe we are because we work hard to make money to take that vacation that allows us a chance to breathe and know that money puts food on our tables. Some might say they live through their children, life is in the eyes of a child. Well why live life through your child? Why not live life “with” your children? People are always working constantly. Life is in the eyes of a child they say. Why not be the eyes of a child and look at life for the first time the way children do? I know, you might think I'm longing for youth... nope, you're wrong. I don't regret things that have gone before. For what I have learned and observed in that time from then until now is immense. Instead I look at what made me happy and how life afforded me happiness and how so that I may draw upon it now. How do I within every second of every day celebrate myself, everyone and everything around?
If you thought I had the answer... don't you'd think I'd tell you?
Work, distances between, commitments all keep us away from those seconds much of the time of our lives.
For myself, maybe like many of you... I want to know what legacy I leave behind. For some of you it will be your children and what you have taught them... as long as you spend the time with them. Some of you will leave behind maybe your work, if you are a photographer, recording artist, artist, authors, actor etc... if you do what you love and suffered for your art. You will actually leave behind tangible things that will be viewed for lifetimes after. Some of you will be the voice that carried freedom to the masses of a land that was devoid of freedom and peace... if you dare be brave and forthright.
Alas, these are the things I have been wondering about the past few months. What shall there be of me when there is no me. Is it going to be the pen I wrote with today, the bottle I drank water out of today, this keyboard that I'm touching right now as I type this? Yes they are all left behind, finger prints and such will be swept away and they will never hold really anything of me as time passes.
I guess or least I hope my words, these here that you may read, stick around some how either in a way that has touched you, made you think or something. Or maybe they just hang around the Internet forever somehow... as long as my name is attached to it. ;) I hope the people I love so very, very dearly in my life will carry me with them in some manner. I hope some how whatever art I create will be hung on someone's wall or in a book. This is what I would like to leave behind. I guess I need to really start squeezing all of this into every second of everyday from this moment on. I must make this pledge, not a contract... that's too much like work. But a pledge, I need to change my ways, change what I see and how I see it and seize the day... yes Carpe diem... well it should really be "seize the second" cause that's what I'm going for here, but that phrase doesn't exist in Latin, go fig.
I leave you with this for all those that may read these words... take the time. - Blog post
- 5 months ago
- Views: 112
- Not yet rated
-
Michael Jackson
- From: Shadoe
-
Description:
I'm just going to say few things here. First I do send prayers to Farrah and her family for their great loss. I will miss the golden haired angel. But for me yesterday the big shock of loss was that of Michael Jackson being dead. This morning I'm still very, very sad.
No matter what you thought or believe about Michael Jackson, no one can ever ignore the truth that he was THE greatest peformer of our time. From his music, to the way the magic filled his soul, to a 3 octive voice that will be missed. No one can ever do what he has accomplished, no one.
Our loss in one day in the entertainment world has been far greater than I think many of us can believe. Also our loss around the world of many lives taken in that same day is something we can't bear.
I was watching the news and on Twitter yesterday, it was the news I heard first, it was Twitter I saw second. I guess growing up loving and listening to the Jackson 5 and following Michael through his career, how can you not feel a major sense of loss. I loved the young Michael Jackson that I first listened and danced to. And then I was astounded and what he showed us with "Off the Wall", he had me for sure right then. I was completely in dumb founded amazement when "Thriller" was released. I was a big fan, my collection of memorabilia... many might envy and surely the many would sell it on ebay... I am a fan, during times like these true fans don't sell their memories.
In my lifetime I have seen a legend be born, reach the highest heights, fall to the lowest lows, catch a glimmer of what still could be and then vanish. Kind of like a shooting star. Michael will surely dance and sing among the Heavens and for a particular generation... yesterday was the day that music died.
I leave you with a post from my Twitter, "Today we lost part of our youth & come face-to-face with our own mortality. Make every day count people with what you do & who you love."
Gone too soon...
- Blog post
- 5 months ago
- Views: 109
- Not yet rated
-
Been away for a while
- From: LiLi22
-
Description:
Well, my schedule has been crazy hectic lately, but it’s good to be back on here. About the middle of may I got a nice little surprise one night going home. I had a nice little party (intervention) waiting at my door for me. That night checked into rehab for my drinking problem. Spent eight days in rehab and now doing chemical dependency classes. Soo much fun…..not. But it’s worth it.
Other than that not much has been new. This month is baby shower month for some friends and then a make a wish party at my cousin’s house to raise money for a little boy they know.
- Blog post
- 5 months ago
- Views: 52
- Not yet rated
-
Mentoring as an Essential Comp
- From: shannoncutts
-
Description:
(by Shannon Cutts, as published in Gurze Books' Winter 2009 "Eating Disorders Recovery Today")
I can sum up my own recovery from anorexia and bulimia with four words—relationships replace eating disorders.When I became ill with anorexia at the age of eleven, I didn’t know how to tell my parents what felt so wrong inside of me, and they didn’t know what to say to help me open up to them. When they applied to our family pediatrician for help, he advised them that it was best not to discuss it with me and reassured them that I would soon grow out of it. My father, unhappy with this wait-and-see approach, then called the insurance company and was tersely informed that “eating problems” were not covered under the family policy. Left with only my pediatrician’s advice to go by, my parents decided to keep silent.
What this meant was that the voice of the eating disorder was the only one talking to me on a regular basis, giving me confident-sounding advice about how to deal with life’s daily challenges. And I, in my isolation and loneliness, became all too willing to listen. By the time I was a freshman music major in college, I was beginning to struggle with bulimia as well.
Then, scarcely two months after I had arrived at college, the tendons in my hands gave out under the strain of my piano practice schedule. I was left with no choice but to withdraw from college and return home. My mother quickly located a physical therapist for me. She drove me to Annie’s* office every week.
It didn’t take Annie long to figure out that there was more going on with me than just hand injuries. One day, at my weekly session, she gently asked if I was okay. I opened my mouth to reassure her that all was well…and it all came spilling out—the fear of food, the hopelessness, the loss of my music, the loneliness that made me long to curl up and die. Amazingly, Annie asked if there was anything she could do to help.
Even more amazingly, I said “yes”.
Since neither Annie nor I knew that much about eating disorders recovery, we embarked upon a learning quest together. Together, we began to brainstorm ways I could overcome my fear of food. She helped me find some local support groups and encouraged me to go. She shared books that had inspired her. We talked and she got to know me, which made all the difference in my daily willingness and ability to do the hard work of recovery.
In the power of the bond that formed between Annie and me, we unwittingly discovered the eating disorder’s strength, and its fatal weakness. It had thrived while I was in isolation, but now I had a trusted friend by my side—someone who could see me apart from my eating disorder and who was not nearly as intimidated by it as I. And over time, my relationship with Annie began to replace my need for the relationship I had formed with the eating disorder. As we met each week, I, too, began to be able to look past the eating disorder and see myself through Annie’s eyes—as a hero in my own life.
Without Annie’s help and support, I would not be here to share my story of hope and triumph today. This is the power of mentoring.
Mentoring 101
Today, we have so many more resources than what was available when I was struggling with an eating disorder. But one fact remains unchanged—we still need support to get better and stay that way.
Just what is a mentor? Who can serve as one and what are the benefits of a mentoring relationship? How do you know you are ready to be mentored? For that matter, how do you find a good mentor, or learn to become one?
What do you mean by “mentor” and “mentee”?
A mentor, in this context, is a trusted guide who has knowledge and experience in a certain area, and is willing and able to share it. A mentee is a person who is in need of guidance and support, and is willing to receive it. While it is not absolutely necessary (although it is extremely desirable) that your mentor be familiar with the specifics of eating disorders, poor body image, or other related issues, the person you choose must be able to relate to your struggles on some personal level and express a willingness to learn how to best support you.
Who can be a mentor?
The beauty of a mentoring partnership is that it can happen both within and outside the context of a traditional therapeutic relationship. It is quite common for many of the principles of a quality mentoring relationship to be found in the bond that forms between therapist and patient—many former sufferers credit their recovery success to the guidance of compassionate, caring treatment team members. However, teachers, coaches, parents, siblings, clergy, significant others, spouses, friends, and other individuals may also be uniquely positioned and qualified to serve as mentors.
What is a mentor’s “job description”?
First and foremost, the mentor serves as a resource and cheerleader to a person who wants to meet certain recovery goals and is willing to do the work that is required. Mentoring is driven by the mentee’s need for support and desire to recover. A mentor’s role, therefore, is necessarily reactive rather than proactive, as it is the mentee who is driving the process by seeking out the mentor’s guidance, assistance, and advice for navigating both the day-to-day and the larger recovery issues as they arise.
What are the benefits of having a mentor?
The mentor, not being intimidated by the eating disorder, can serve as a voice of reason, compassion, tough love, and kind encouragement. The mentor is also able to remind the mentee of past successes and future payoffs for continuing to work on recovery.Ideally, the mentor also possesses first- or second-hand experience with the recovery process, and thus comes into the partnership equipped with some level of awareness of how it feels and what it takes to overcome these types of significant life challenges. The mentor may even have personal experience with the process of transitioning through various stages of care, and is therefore well positioned to serve as a source of ongoing support throughout the entire length and breadth of the mentee’s recovery journey. The mentor can also act as a resource and support to the mentee in the unfortunate situation where further treatment may not be affordable, available, or both.
How do I know I am ready for a mentor?
There is some truth to the old saying that “when the student is ready, the teacher appears.” Beyond that, readiness to begin working with a mentor is born out of a sincere determination to achieve recovery by whatever means necessary (which includes the active willingness to attempt to replace the eating-disordered thoughts and coping skills with healthier connections and behaviors). As with all successful partnerships, courage, trust, and a sense of adventure are paramount to success.
Do I have to pay for mentoring?
Each mentoring partnership is unique. Some mentors may choose to charge for their time and others may wish to offer their support free of charge, on a sliding scale, or pro bono. Some universities and non-profit organizations offer mentoring as a part of their menu of support services. The most important thing is to find a mentor who appears to be willing and equipped to serve. From there, it becomes possible to design a mentoring partnership that will work for both participants.
How can I find a mentor?
Locating and assessing potential mentors is both a logical and intuitive process. Certainly, it makes sense to look close to home for someone within your family, local community, or spiritual home. Is there a teacher with whom you felt some rapport or a trained member of a peer support group or counseling center at school? Perhaps you might consider approaching a relative who has expressed a past interest in your health and well-being. Participating in reputable online recovery sites, such as MentorCONNECT, my organization’s private, monitored online mentoring community, is also a great way to connect with individuals who want to help each other build positive support systems. Or you could attend a local meeting of Eating Disorders Anonymous, Anorexics and Bulimics Anonymous or Overeaters Anonymous, which are all fellowship organizations that consider the mentor-mentee (or “sponsor-sponsee”) relationship as integral to successful recovery. If you are looking for therapy specifically, organizations such as Gürze Books and the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) offer referral directories of professionals who are specifically knowledgeable about eating disorders.
Brainstorm a list of potential mentors, challenging yourself to consider both obvious and not-so-obvious candidates. From there, take a leap of faith! Pick a method of contact (in person, phone, mail, email, text, etc.) that feels comfortable. Explain to that person what type of support you are seeking, offer some ideas for how they could best support you, and invite them to discuss the possibility further with you. A mentoring partnership is still first and foremost a relationship, and it is important to “click” with your mentor, and vice versa, to ensure that you will derive the most benefit out of your time together.
If I have a mentor do I still need a treatment team?
In a word — YES. When I was ill, for reasons both unfortunate and unavoidable, my relationship with Annie was all that I had in terms of a treatment team. She stood right in between me and the eating disorder, helping me to remember why I chose recovery and reminding me that I had the power to choose to fight, survive, and thrive. Even so, I would never advocate attempting to “go it alone,” even with a caring mentor by your side. Rather, the true value of mentoring can be found through integrating a mentor into the efforts of a full treatment team, using the unique talents and contributions of each member to fully support the person who is striving to get better. When we all work together on behalf of someone who is striving to achieve recovery from an eating disorder, the sky is the limit when it comes to setting—and exceeding—our shared recovery goals!
*a pseudonym has been used to protect privacyFor more information about mentoring click HERE
- Blog post
- 5 months ago
- Views: 43
- Not yet rated
-
Rockin' the 70's
- From: Shadoe
-
Description:
Time Capsule: The 70's... maybe a bit before and maybe a tad bit after
This is probably going to be a couple posts. This all started with a discussion at work when I mentioned to someone else, have you visited Hulu? The guy said he hadn't, but his wife had because they have the television show "Emergency" and she's a big Randy Mantooth fan. Then I said, ah yes, he sometimes appeared on the cover of my 16 Magazine from time to time. Well that began the flood of nostalgia.
Now y'all may have a different vision of what the 70's were... some of you have only read about it or seen it on TV, some of you lived it. Whatever the case may be, I'm not here to tell you your vision of the 70's is wrong, I'm just here to talk about mine.
For me, the 70's was about music... my love of it and how it is a constant in my life. You don't have to be a singer, songwriter or musician to appreciate music... or the music of the 70's, you just have to appreciate music, period. Even though I do dabble in and with music from time to time my usual response to people who ask me if I play an instrument is usually, "Yes I do, I play my stereo and I play it very well, thank you". :) Well now it's, "I play my MP3 player and I play it extremely well, thank you". When we actually look at my dabbling in music, I did sing with a choir & did some talent shows, I've played saxophone, drums, guitar and keyboards and do write songs from time to time. Could I be a professional at any of them... no. Probably the only one that I could do well with is the song writing and banging that out for someone else to sing & play.
My dream growing up was to be a singer and believe me that fantasy never stopped... and I think it's still there inside today. I use to pretend I was a rock star on tour when I'd travel on the Greyhound Bus to visit relatives in another state. When I was home, there was a guitar in hand or me behind some makeshift drum set. Or me out front with my pretend microphone singing lead... yes before the video game Rock Band or Guitar Hero ever existed... I did this stuff, learned every song, every dance etc and performed them live in my bedroom. And if I was lucky, I had friends that stopped by to join in on the concert.
So because of my wanting to be a singer, I couldn't help but fall in love with music... ALL kinds of music. I was introduced when I was born to such singers as, Frank Sinatra, Elvis (I own a 78rpm of his Heartbreak Hotel, been in the family for awhile now), Dean Martin, The Beatles, Vanilla Fudge, Lynn Anderson, Perry Como...the list goes on. Of course when I hit the teeny bopper years it was all about David Cassidy and the Partridge Family, the Osmonds, The Jackson 5, and dare we not forget the original the short cropped pants wearers... the Bay City Rollers! I then started listening also to The Carpenters, David Essex, The Bee Gees and oh my goodness every group that K-Tel ever put on one of their albums. (If you don't know anything about K-Tel records, look them up. The various artist collections were great, but one flaw... they shortened songs from the originals.) All those groups led me to Sweet, Gilbert O'Sullivan, Three Dog Night, Pilot, Badfinger, Paul Revere and the Raiders, Grass Roots, Gary Puckett, Chicago, Grand Funk Railroad, Nazareth, Aerosmith (the first time), Rick Springfield (first time around before Dr. Noah Drake On GH), Queen (love Freddie Mercury), Jim Groce, Carly Simon, Barry Manilow, Electric Light Orchestra, Heart, Fleetwood Mac, Eric Carmen & The Raspberries, Tanya Tucker... oh my goodness the list could go on.
All of the groups I listened to and more are part of a very huge vinyl album & 45 collection I own. I guess if I wasn't going to be a singer in a rock n' roll band... I was going to appreciate every piece of music I came across.
At one point in my life I did get a small taste of knowing what being a singer was like... at least in small town Midwest... that's when my state had small towns. Ya know... "they paved paradise and put up a parking lot". ;) Could I have made it professionally as a singer... again no. And it only would have been with a heck of a lot of training. Choir and on my own I did pretty good. But there were so many who were so much better at it. Granted God gifted me with a good group of talents, the musical side being one of them... but I don't think that was the strongest of the ones He gave me. But hey, I still embrace it.
Don't get me wrong, there use to be a time when I could actually sing. But ya know if you don't use the instrument, ya kinda lose the instrument. It would take some work to get it back. I remember a time when I was at a place where they had setup one of those mobile recording studio's... like they put in mall's etc from time to time. And I decided I was going to see if I could do the recording thing, plus it was kind of cool cause I had never stepped foot in a recording studio. I figured this was the closest chance I'd get. The guy asked me what song I wanted to sing after looking through the big book. Of course I would pick something I knew, something I felt I could sing... but also something that would be difficult for many, including myself. So why the heck did "I" think I could sing this song. Maybe because on a good day when I've recorded myself on my little tape recorder I could sing the song. Now I'm going to preface this next part with the fact that the song I picked was hard because the original singer was one of the greatest female vocalists in music, then and still to this day. A woman with perfect pitch... which I don't have. And her range was not always the easiest to mimic. And "I" am nowhere near her talent or much of anything else when it comes to singing. But... for one brief moment, I wondered IF.
I know, I know you are all wondering WHO the singer was and WHAT song. Well, slipping into the booth, and putting on the headphones and looking at the microphone... I wondered what the sam hell in tarnations was I doing! (Also if anyone knows what and where that saying came from, please let me know.)
I heard the opening music and even though I had the words in front of me, yes I kept them there no matter what. I closed my eyes and pretended... as many times as I did before... that I was in my bedroom putting on a concert for the world. I'm really glad my bedroom couldn't hold many people cause it would have scared me half to death to sing in front of the world...even though I had done talent shows. With my eyes closed I opened my mouth and began singing, "We've Only Just Begun" by the Carpenters. Do you understand now why I said how I couldn't even compare, compete, think etc when it came to Karen Carpenter? Her voice was always perfect and clear. It use to take me a lot to come close to sounding clear... let alone perfect. But I did sing the whole song through... with my eyes closed, still pretending I was in my bedroom belting it out.
Now the guy manning the booth would be listening on his headset as you did this. But little did I know that he had decided to pipe my performance out to anyone within earshot. Him and I had this discussion before hand that I did not want that done and he had agreed to it... guess you shouldn't believe some people, eh?
I finished and stepped out of the booth and it took me a minute or two to realize the song I was hearing was me. I was kind of use to me hearing myself on my little recorder and now here it was so much bigger and cleaner sounding. I said to him I thought this wasn't going to happen, the playing of my singing for the whole world to hear. He said that he thought I was very good and that I wouldn't have a problem with it really in the end... I thought to myself, yeah right... you tell everyone that no matter what they sound like. He said in the end that I kind of sounded like her... Karen Carpenter that is. Again, yeah right. But I did take the tape home and listen to it and it was pretty good, I felt there were parts where I sounded like Karen and thought that maybe if I decided to pursue this path maybe I might be good at it, on a low professional level. Even though I didn't do too badly at mimicking Karen Carpenter, I felt that I'd need much more training to do it seriously.
So that brought me right back to my love and appreciation of great music. The love of not just singers... but those who could sing AND write their songs and of course play them. I have such great respect for people that can do that. Yes I believe many of the singers today are good, I take nothing away from them. But I think I appreciate the singer/songwriter/musicians more and I attribute that to growing up in the 70's. Bands actually sang and played their own instruments and when you heard them live... if they hit a clunker or sang the wrong note or messed up the words... you still knew they weren't faking it. And you also found out the groups that could REALLY sing and knew how to harmonize and just were killer. I'll take Karen & Richard Carpenter over the many wannabe's of today, mainly because Richard knew how to craft a pop song to perfection with Karen delivering it wrapped up in a bow. Queen, Freddie Mercury... great songs and an amazing voice that made you take notice. Now THAT is what I remember of the 70's when it came to music. I had and still do have a wide variety of taste thanks to the 70's. If not for the 70's I probably would find myself still buying tons of CD's because I can't get enough of music. It underscores so much of my life. Yes, I BUY the CD's... don't get me started on not buying CD's and stealing from the singers/songwriters/musicians. For me, it's the least that I can do to pay them back for hours and years of enjoyment.
The 70's was a good time listening to all those groups at the beginning of that era. Then came the mid-70's and a bit later which turned into disco.... I'll leave that for possibly part two of this post. :)
Ask me today who I listen to... well, I still listen to everybody listed above and more from time to time when I pull out the CD's. But now I still find myself going for the vocals and the singer/songwriters/musicians like Jann Arden (Jann if you are reading this, YOU ROCK in more ways than one! And right now you are my musical hero.), Pink (LUV Pink!), Justin Timberlake (Something to be said about boybands), Kelly Clarkson (really the best singer to come out of AI), Building 429 (I'm a big Chrisitan rock fan also), Big Daddy Weave, Newsboys, Keith Urban, Sarah McLachlan, Rascal Flatts, Melissa Etheridge, U2 (Umm, they ROCK.), Shakira, Katy Perry (How can you not rock out to I Kissed A Girl), Seal, Coldplay, The Black Eyed Peas (Boom, Boom, POW!), Daughtry (the best singer/band to come out of AI)... again the list could go on, and YES I own CD's by all these people. Yes I'm really old. Yes I have no more room in my house. Yes I must get a bigger one. Yes I still pretend I can sing sometimes.;PI admire all the people I listed and then some. For many can effortlessly sing a song with such great emotion that it's pure magic and it's the language we all can speak. Others, write and play music that can break our hearts and lift them up all at the same time. You all are the music in my life. Thank you. :)
P.S.
For a good handful of years in my adult life, before CD's... I was actually around when those came into play and had one of the early commercial CD players. I ran a record store. So my love of music has stayed constant and this contributed to my large record collection. And took away a lot from my wallet.
- Blog post
- 5 months ago
- Views: 175
- Not yet rated
-
ED's True Face
- From: Andrea
-
Description:
In the beginning, the eating disorder (ED) felt like it was a friend to me. It was a solution to my problems. When everything else in my life seemed so out of control, the eating disorder was there for me, comforting me. But soon enough, the eating disorder showed its true face. And it turned out it was not a friend -- and never was.
The eating disorder did not care about me. It only cared about itself and was using me. A friend does not beat you up, a friend does not make you punish yourself, a friend does not make you feel miserable, a friend does not take away your passions... the eating disorder is not your friend.
And whenever you hear the voice in your head telling you that you aren't good enough, need to lose weight, punish yourself… ask yourself if that is the "real you" that is talking, or if it is your eating disorder that is speaking to you. At first, it can be very difficult to separate these two voices as it feels like you are "it" and "it" is you... When I struggled, it felt like the eating disorder was me, and I was “it” – “it” was my identity; I didn't know who I was without it.
During my recovery, I had to learn to separate these two voices --- mine and the eating disorder voice. And when it was the eating disorder talking, I had to learn to fight back, talk back and disobey its commands. I had to learn to take control back over my life -- after all, it was MY life, not the eating disorder's.
Now you have to do the same. And through it, your recovery will come. You can learn to love and enjoy your life again. Please stay strong and keep on believing in yourself!
All the best and take good care of yourself,
Andrea
PS. Looking for eating disorder recovery support? I invite you to check out my monthly ezine called the You Are Not Alone Support Letter which is filled with recovery stories, interviews, poems, artwork, recovery tips, and more... for more information, visit www.youarenotalonebook.com/supportletter.html
- Blog post
- 6 months ago
- Views: 78
- Not yet rated
