Hello Friends!
This weekend's visit with Scaughdt was amazing! His focus, giving selfless service and love as the path to moment by moment enlightenment, was transformative in its wisdom and practicality. It was completely in sync with the steps and, thus, well received by all in attendance. If you would like to learn more about the weeknd or other events coming up, visit my website www.theempowermentcoach.net , write me a note on this blog, or give me a call at 786 859 4050!
Looking forward to seeing you at our next event when Bill Ferguson (of Oprah fame) provides a weekend workshop entitled Return to the Heart.
Give me a call when you get a chance if you would like to learn more about empowerment coaching and how it can help you in your recovery journey. I'll be happy to give you a sample session for free to see if it is something that can help you in your travels.
Peace and love,
Coach Bev
Hi I am new to this so i hope to be able to chat with you all sometime, Linda
By George E. Buttner - Heartwood Creations
“A WAY OUT”
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Understanding the 12-Steps as a way out (a spiritual recovery) from any type of addiction, especially alcohol; is the premise of this essay. Alcoholism has been around since the beginning of time itself. In recorded history it is mentioned often in Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy. Even God has told Adam and Eve not to eat of this tree. It is a poisonous Serpent who bites like an Adder, and you will surely die.
Born from the forbidden fruit rotting in the orchards, cooked into a vapor and returned as a liquid, alcohol is a curse upon man without cure, a labyrinth of ugly twist and turns, an endless maze of dead-ends, which descends deeper and darker with every shot glass emptied. Even Solomon in all his wisdom died a drunkard spouting wisdom from his vineyard with the Shulamite maidens. However, this study guide is not a sermon on the Bible, I merely point out the scope and magnitude of alcohols’ lethal existence on man.
In modern times-as it was then; for the drunkard leaning against the gutter lamp post, there has also been a very perplexing avenue of escape hidden in plain view. A way out is written in our hearts - a narrow path God-given at birth that dwells within us all. At A.A. meetings we tell the newcomer, join us, and the Higher Power, as we walk out together.
Some of us heartier alcoholics now stand vigilant at the gate and will at times, descend back down into the muddleheaded throes of a sick alcoholic and haul him out of the maze. It was at my lowest ebb, that an opening appeared and I was snatched from its grip.
Breaking our own anonymity to help the weary sufferer dispels the stigma of denial. Wellness in conjunction with the 12-Steps offers the alcoholic another encouraging step toward his or her own truth. Now, I often take my turn at unlocking that secret opening…
Opening our minds to new ideas means we try something new, and if it works, then we expand on it to suit our needs. A.A. does work; the trick is to allow yourself the gift of time for a satisfactory recovery to take hold. We can hope or wish for a recovery all we want, but sobriety is only granted to those who get up and do it, one day at a time.
Planting such seeds in the garden of recovery can only bring a more lasting sobriety. Working in the fields of quiet and the furrows of calmness, we begin to harvest the better fruit in life. Preparation is a plan carried out, and the 12-Steps are the blueprint.
I sow these God given seeds of recovery with each breath I take. Keep in mind, faith in a Higher Power without works is dead, so come and join the feast.
Some of you might still be out in the cold wishing for the mellow tones of Jack in the Beanstalk’s, Golden Harp, and wouldn’t mind curling up to a warm fire to read all about the God intervening Act of Providence given to me, now recorded in my latest book, soon to be released, “Mending a Shattered life.” However, if you do not do the work or if you think, the tried and true suggestions offered here in this blueprint are not for you, then throw it into the fireplace; at least then, my miracle will keep you warm.
| Needles, Needles and dreams... |
| This topic just popped up in my head, because it's a way i lived my life for so many years..i would have so many dreams in my addiction, and i'm referring to dreams like goals, now real dreams when your sleeping i also had alot of sick twisted awsome dreams but i want to write about a junkie who had hope, who knew there was a better life out there for him..I would day dream alot when i was using, picturing myself clean, living life, having a beautiful caring wife, and family, driving around in a nice car, etc..then i would come out of my nod to my sick reality i called my life, my addiction was rough, not so much as homeless eating off the streets rough but just a internal tourment..thinking back my life really sucked when i was getting high, everyday i would just create so much chaos, make some huge argument with my boss because i thought i knew a better way to do the job, or sneaking off to some room for my nap time, mind you i was at work, but Dominic needed his rest if you wanted the best work out of him, or i needed that 2hour lunch so i could wait for my drug dealer, cause you didn't want me there when i was sick, and wow i was a mess when i was high too, shitt..i thought i had it going on, i thought no one could tell me shit, i had a 1 track mind, i got this i said...i'm not that bad, but then would be crieng n begging my mother for money..a sad life i must say, huh...but i remember way back when i was growing up, way before the drugs or the parent divorce..that i would be something great, wanted to be in the army at one point, i was so into it..put on my lil camo clothes running around in the back yard with some tools i taped toghter to look like a gun (yea pops yelled at me for that one), but i always dreamed big..i guess you could say fantisy is a drug for me, living in my own little world, it's like now i look back and my life was like a movie in the drama section, some of the shit i did, i just think back and laugh at, like what a dumbass i was, but it's just the insanity drugs brought me...i think it was when i first got locked up and those doors closed on me, the movie ended and reality hit me, alll my dreams were out the window..well actually it wasent until 4days later that i actually realized where i was, withdrawling from a 2bundle a day habit can be rough, i woke up in the shower at one point, on someone elses bed when he went to the bathroom..ahhh shit thas right i remember he came back and i was in his bed instead of mine, i was soo out of it, pidifull can only come to mind....but i guess after that last needle finally broke on me and i found recovery i became alive, they say when u enter recovery lost dreams awakin..and they did, I want to do so much, i'm so outgoing, and love to have fun..that little kid returned that had been lost in a needle for so long..and now have more dreams than ever, not unrealistic dreams, like you could be the president..haaa yeaa right, i wouldent want nasty bumper stickers talking shit on me on everyones car, so scratch that..but like i have found a passion for cooking and i will be a executive chef at a 3star resaurent..something to work towards..ive learned over the years that lifes pointless without dreams, it's like your just exsisting and not living, your better off with a needle in your arm...but not me, not today..i survived a severe drug addiction where any day could of been my last, not knowing if i'd wake up, and didn't really care cause everyday in a addicts life is hell..the never ending thoughts, from the time your eyes open your thinking how to get money, how to get around work to go cop, what lies you have to lie more about to cover yours tracks,do i have enough dope left over to get me by, trieng to remember who you got what from the day before so you don't overlap your sceems...just so much bullshit i went through, but again a life i chose, sad isint it?..i think so..but today dominic has some dreams, and is clean so i can achieve them... |
You know, ive been to alot of meetings and talked to alot of drug addicts and alot of the had horriable stories..what was i doing?..just comparing my addiction, justifyying that it wasent that bad..that b/s..I was shooting herion and smoking crack, ruining my life and all those around me, so yes it was that bad..and what i got out of that is we all have a story, yes they may be similar..but this ones mine..My names Dominic, i was born on Dec 23, 1986..i for the most part had a good child hood, caring and loving mother all my needs were met and was pretty spoiled, my dad was a workaholic..so we didn't do much bonding..but i did learn the value of hard work..My parents had their differences so after a 11year marriage they got divorced, where me my mother and sister moved to Delaware..Where we lived at my grandparents..i went from a nice neighborhood and catholic school, to a public school in the city with bars on the window and they found crack on our park...it was a rough transition for me..my mother tried her hardest, but she always went out so i found friends, "the cool crowd" always looked to be accepted i would do whatever..i thought the older kids were soooo cool with the cell phones, cars, girls, partys..i wanted to be like that so bad, i was so nieve..unaware of the hell i was entering, as all addicts i started with weed, alchol..then pills..started really using at 13..i thought nothing of it, i found my get away..i found freedom from my life with drugs, i loved it from my first hit, i knew then this is what i wanted to do..i was so stupid..as the years went by i started getting into trouble..frequent underage consumption arrests, i spend many hours in holding cells..having my mother cry her eyes out, i laughed at the situation, i laughed at the situation like my life was a movie, as in the mafia i got my cherry popped..i ended up dropping out of school, and my life revolved around getting high..i worked, i stole, lied cheated, and manipulate to get money..getting into oxycotton daily, tried to get help after i experienced what withdrawling was..that didn't last long..through my so called "friends" endind up picking up herion at 18..i remember when my friend shot me up for the first time, i found true love i thought, now in all actuallity i had just entered hell..a life of misery, there was just so much pain in me that i didn't want to feel..everyday i awoke to cause more chaos, more tears..i messed up a couple real good jobs, and of course added on to my police record..now longer misdomenors but felonies..today i have 2 menila envelopes full of police paper work, my backround isint pretty and its there for ever to haunt me at every job interview..i wound up messing up on probation running to detox, did i want help??..had i hit bottom??..naaa i just didn't want to go to jail..shit i was only like 120lbs..so i wound up in a 6 month inpatient treatment center, where i struggled for the first 3 months but then bought into recovery, i finally felt freedom, love , feelings that i ran from for so long, i completed my stay..ended up with 10 months clean..i was really into my recovery..then one day it came out of nowhere, i had a needle in my arm once again..violate dprobation and got locked up for a lil while, withdrawling off 90mg of methadone and a 2bundle a day habbit..cold turkey, that was horriable..only to come out and go right back to it, when i had the choice, i had recovery in me i had the knoledge..but the fuunny thing about the disease of addiction is its progressive, and it doesent care about you at all..it wants to ruin your life, and it did..i lasted about 2 more months i was yet again at bottom (where i thought you could only reach once) theres a trap door at every bottom that goes deeper, this time lost my car which i loved and had so much money into, my dog who was like a son to me i had for 6 years had to give up, lost my job, i put my mom in sooo much debt that she had to literally get rid of the house and she moved to SC, with my sister..so here i was all alone in delaware..i found my way back to that treatment center where i did another 6months, so to sum this up, i ended up relapsing again around that 9months, i put work ahead of my recovery and lost everything again, almost lost my life this time..my life was filled with misery all over again and it started with that first drink, took me right back to what i disd best..Now this could only be through god, that my father came by and asked me to move to ohio with him, after we hadent talked for 7years..he saved my life..coming up on 2 months clean now, found NA out here, doing step work..and my sister asked me this one good question, what makes this time different?..and all that came out was im putting in the work this time, i want no longer to take from people but to give back, repay all i stole..help those in need..i still dwell a little of my past espically what i did to my mother, but am trieng to move on and do the work today so i can have a good past, so if i can help anyone maybe just one person not go through all the hell i did, then my past would be worthwhile, i wasent put here to die with a needle in my arm, i do have a purpose and am a good person with so much to give..So to end this, my names Dominic and im a grateful recovering addict.
You know who ever said life would be easy?..Through out a day we all face challenges trials and tribulations. Let’s face it life isint easy it’s a job..And my life has been far from easy, i struggle with a drug addiction..For years now herion has been the love of my life, i would do anything to keep our realionship going..currently in recovery in which ive been in and out for years because i know my purpose my destiny doesent involve a needle. Ive lived on the ugly side of this world..i like to think of it as hell on earth, a endless cycle of misery and pain. for those addicted may relate more than those who are not..and whats funny is ive lived through and seen things many may not. i like to look at my life as a story, and hopefully one day it will help someone, save them from going through the hell i did. You know i didnt have that bad of a childhood i wasent beat or malested..ive always had a smile on my face, a good person per say..but somewhere along the line i picked up a fear of not belonging, always tried to fit in, in which led my to “the bad crowd” where it all began. Now i can’t blame anyone but myself for what ive done..Sad to say but i choose this life, and it’s been a battle to be freed now i will never truely be freed i will always be a addict, it’s just something i suffer with. the disease of addiction..now this doesent mean i have to use drugs, because i don’t. i have a choice today in which i didn’t have before i found recovery. I was blessed enough to have my life spared to be saved..ive seen so much death all around me but it’s not my time. it wasent my destiny to die in active addiction..i’m 22 and have a whole life ahead of me. I live my life today very carefully, i need not forget who i am and what i’m capable of..or should i say what the demon inside me is capable of, but i stay grateful, i try and stay positive. My life today is a blessing it’s only through God’s grace that i’m still here to talk about it, everyday’s a birthday for me..Some may not understand addicts they may think were just criminals, bad people..but in all actuality were not, were sadly misunderstood people who just need help, were so hurt on the inside so all we know how to do is hurt, and are usually those closest to us..we can only give what we have, at some point in active addiction we loose hope we loose sight of who we really are. we chance with death as if we were playing craps..every roll of the dice might be are last..now do we care, to be honest no not really. do we care about the lives we would affect if we were to die?..no not really, the core of our disease is selfcenterdness. all we care about is ourselves our next hit..it’s very sad..but were sick people. and like i said before we need help. We can’t get clean on our own, it’s soooo hard to be programed to use drugs to run from feelings, hide from emotions, basically block all the hurt. to then just stop and were stuck with all these uprooting feelings, shit weve never delt with, it’s hard. we need to be babied back to life, because we were dead. spiritually, emotionally dead..a walking corpse, dead but still alive..So i just ask those who see people struggling through addictions to not be so quick to judge us and just give us the time of day because we all have a story with us, and sometimes just need to be listened to..So to sum this up a day in the life of a addict, recovering or using.. is difficult so when you have a bad day at work, or things arent going your way always be reminded that theres someone out there thats alot worse off than you..
You know I have alot of opinions, But i also have experience to write on such things. Hell, sounds scary huh..not really tho if you've lived in it..I was brought up catholic and still am.and do believe in hevan and hell, my grandmother once told me your deffently going to hevan caused you already lived through hell..it brought tears to my eyes cause it was so true..Some may not understand but try n follow,each and everyone of us has the devil right inside us, demons that haunt our thoughts..it's just do we listen or do we fight..right and wrong thats all..Now we have death, the inevitable..we were born to die, and normally everyone fears death..But u might say im a little different, how am i to fear death when i woke up killing myself? Being a courpse but still breathing, living in the ugly side of this world we live on, wanting to speak but coulden't, No feelings, No soul..just internally dead with each day getting worse..Bringing pain to every1 i came in contact with, being all alone in a room full of people..theres alot people take for granit, and one is their life. I guess i see it that way cause i was on the brink of death, wondering when was that one more going to be my last. sorrow,shame, and guilt filled my body, tears that wouldent run free...it's truely a shame how ungrateful some people are..but i used to be one of them till all was gone and all that was left was the roll of the dice with my life..and today to have a roof over my head, food, a warm bed to crawl into..So i ask why live in fear when theres so much to live for..fear and worring are just a lack of faith..so i end this with a thank you..because i have so much to be thankful for.
Ok, so I'm sitting on my bed, Playing...um..I mean working, on my computer, When the dogs go nuts. This means one of the girls from Joy's House are home. I have a little house on the property and they have to pass between the two to get into Joy's House; Flpop, TeddyBear & Lady a very good way of knowing if anyone is coming in late. And since becoming a home owner I have been trying to do a little Handyman work; My latest project - replacing a motion detector light that is supposed to come on when someone passes, Giving the person light to see by & saving electricity at the same time. The previous one came on only sporadiclly - needing an occasional whack. Unfortunately, the one I replaced it with came on when I restored the power after wiring it in, But only for a second, then going right out. Turn power to the house off, jiggle it a bit, turn power back on, and it would light up, Then instantly go out. I think it's overloading the circuit, but the AC unit that was outside kept running. I guess i need to go back to Home Depot & ask for directions. But until then, there is no light al all, So when the dogs went nuts I jumped up to let whoever it was know that there was no light. I ran out of the bedroom to get to the kitchen door, And BANGED my knee on the bedroom's door frame. It didn't hurt for a second, but I knew... Have you ever stubbed a toe and it didn't hurt for a second, but you knew it was coming? I have. Quite a few times to be honest. And each time, as soon as it happened, I thought: 'Oh shit. Here it comes.' And it always did - the pain usually coming before the thought was finished. Owwwwww!! Ow. Ow. Ow. So when I hit my knee, I continued to the door, Now limping; Though that may have just been in prepreation. Melissa & Angelic were coming in, and asked why I was limping. I told them what happened, they looked at my knee, And screamed! I looked at my knee, That was making them scream, And wanted to scream a little myself - My knee looked like there was a grapefruit stuck under it! When I told them what happened, they stopped screaming, And started giggling - though mixed with words of concern. Then the pain came. I still wonder if it was the delayed, stubbed toe syndrome, Or the shock of seeing it so swollen, So quickly. Either way, it hurt. I decided to go to the hospital; if I'd torn some ligaments I'd need it wrapped. When I got there the emergency nurse asked what happened. I explained how I fell off a ladder while doing maintance on my new home. I know, I know, but saying I banged it against a wall while going to answer the door, just... I wasn't feeling like hearing any more giggles. Besides, it sounded like a handyman type of thing. I know. I know. I didn't tear any ligaments, I actually broke off a small peice off the top of my kneecap! By hitting it on a wall. Seriously. So now I'm back on my bed..I guess this is working - it'll probally be a story in JOURNEY, With a velcro stapped contraption that goes from my ankle to my thigh. From hitting my knee on a wall. Seriously. Reading this back, Honestly? I'm giggling a bit myself! Sheesh. peace
THE PROBLEM: In any given year-besides the other killers, Cigarettes, Diet and Obesity, we find that 75 % of all premature deaths are caused by heart disease, auto accident, homicide or suicide, and that alcohol abuse is the primary cause of all four. For instance, alcohol related car crashes kill somebody every 20 minutes in America, but many of these sudden fatalities are not listed as alcohol being the cause of death. People are dying of alcoholism without ever having taken a drink themselves. While circumstances of teenagers who use alcohol differ from adult situations, the underlying causes are the same for all humans; they are of course, deciding the important values of which you are - your education, a satisfactory vocation, conforming to social expectations while seeking a rewarding relationship and a spiritual meaning to your life. It is important for everyone to know that alcoholism is a progressive illness that becomes more aggressive with each new generation. Young or old, despite race, color or creed, even the most educated have suffered. Until 1939 no one could not stop alcohols wild tsunami surge across the reckless sea of mankind in the United States. As a protoplasmic poison, when ingested in any amount, however small the quantity, it becomes a killer to all life forms. The health factors to human beings who risk drinking alcohol are enormous, altering, perhaps forever, the mind, body, inhibitions, mood, expectations and metabolism - even our moral characteristics to unpredictable, controversial levels in gender, sex and lifestyle. While racing through our veins, it can also prevent people from losing weight no matter how hard they try, while others get so skinny from it they wither away. We have all seen bloated beer bellies suddenly occur or a person in their 30’s looking 60 because of the biological deterioration alcohol causes to the human body. It makes no difference, the Siren’s who seduced Ulysses’ or the psychoactive drug-alcohol calling to us now-they are both one and the same. Medical science has not fully understood the emotional impact it causes. Many different types of human disorders such as self-pity and an inferiority complex are a direct cause to alcohol consumption. Alcohol also speeds up the aging process; it contributes to diabetes, hypoglycemia, hemophilia, vital organ failure, and other negative biological/capillary effects. The declining list includes attacks against tiny blood vessels that hemorrhage throughout the body, such as blood-shot eyes and varicose veins in the legs and feet. Other symptoms include internal bleeding, involuntary tremors, high cholesterol, low blood sugar, salt retention, and dehydration. It can also lead to cardiac arrest and death. All alcoholics’ lose touch with reality and enter the world of make believe. They become full of self-pity. The blues, means, they feel sorry for themselves and they begin to avoid their responsibilities at home (family) and in the work place for fear of failure. You can pretty well take it on faith and medical science that if you drink alcohol for any period of time you undoubtedly have brain damage. There is more, but it all happens because of a correctable, nutritional imbalance that throws the entire mind and body out of balance! Alcohol causes a deadly cycle to our health that can be broken. If we fix this problem, we fix most of what ails our country. An alcohol related dead or wet brain cell is irretrievable. Don’t drink it! George E Buttner - Heartwood Creations - www.heartwoodcreations.org
I got back from Washington, DC, where I'd been invited to a party celebrating the Parity Bill being passed. I met Patrick Kennedy; son of Ted Kennedy, Congressman Jim Ramstad; who was instrumental in getting the bill passed, Pat Taylor; the director of Faces & Voices of Recovery, David Wellstone; whose father started the Parity Bill & for who it is named after, and former First Lady Rosalyn Carter; who took a picture with me, arm in arm, while holding up a copy of JOURNEY magazine! I left DC thinking it had been one of the best week-ends of my life, and that the picture of Mrs. Carter & I was going to look great in my next Letter from the Editor.
When I got home, my girlfriend told me she needed to go back into treatment.
I was … shocked, hurt,
Then angry.
Then angry that I was angry.
I knew she had been … stuck for a while;
She had suffered from depression before, and that came back after she lost her job a few months ago.
She just...slid into a funk, that she couldn't seem to climb out of;
Spending her days watching the Sopranos, Jordan and Law & Order. Making only token efforts at going to a meeting or looking for a job.
In fact, we had agreed that she should move into Joy's House; hoping that helping the other girls, would help her.
The reason I got mad is because I had left her in charge of Joy's House; a new sober house I just opened, even though her managing of it up to that date had been otiose, at best;
I was doing a lot that she should have been handling.
I agreed to leave her in charge because she said she knew that she could do it,
And she knew what it meant to me – I opened Joy's House in memory of my daughter, Joy.
It is a of way of keeping a promise I made to her at her graveside when I finally got clean & sober:
To live a life that she could be proud of, instead of the life I'd been living.
It is also an amends to her,
And to God.
Her...not caring what her actions could have done to the house's reputation,
Or to the girls living there who were still new in recovery,
Got to me.
It still does.
Which is making me look at myself & wonder if I am self centered or supercilious, for feeling this way;
Because the reason I got angry,
About being angry,
Is that I also understood that this is a hard time for her,
On top of the the other problems she has had lately.
This is the time of year when she lost her son (yes, we've both lost a child),
And a few years later, her Mom.
So when I got back from DC and she told me that she needed help,
That she didn't want to go back to what she had been like when she was in active addiction;
Snorting heroin & taking 400 mgs. of methadone a day,
I made some calls.
The response humbled me.
Again.
My brother, my nephew and my cousin's husband have needed treatment in the past year or so.
When my brother called me after being kicked out of the house, asking for help,
I called a friend looking for advice.
She was friends with the owner of Recovery First & said she would call him. I knew Jim; he'd advertised in JOURNEY before.
'Jim' called me back that night and said he didn't think the insurance my brother had would cover it, but he would take him in,
On a Friday,
And they'd check on his policy on Monday.
Monday, Jim called me back & informed me that the policy, as he thought, would not cover treatment.
“But, he's here.” Jim said, “And I have a bed, so we're going to let him stay on a scholarship.”
Recovery First is also where my girlfriend went two years ago, and she was such a beautiful woman afterwards. I want that girl back.
When my sister called me a few months later to tell me her son, was so far gone on crack that they refused to let him stay in the house because he was stealing everything – he had to camp out in their backyard - and they needed help, I called a friend who is the Asst. Director of The Village; another treatment center here in Miami.
'Sharon' told me to get him on a bus and they would have a bed for him the minute he got here.
And they did.
Two weeks ago my cousin, who is like my sister, called me.
She told me that Edwin, her husband, was in jail and had been for the last month,
For violating probation – his urine test came back dirty. They were going to court in the morning and the judge was willing to send him to treatment,
But the only place they found had a two month waiting list. Could I help?
I called 'Sharon' again because I knew The Village worked with the drug court here. I couldn't reach her, so I called her boss 'Frank' who is the Sr. Vice President of West Care – the company that bought The Village. I'd met him at the FADAA conference, even had breakfast with him & Sharon while there.
He's a nice guy.
I had no idea how nice.
He asked me Edwin's last name, who his judge was, and what courtroom he would be in.
I told him all I knew was his last name.
Frank told me not to worry, that he'd make a few phone calls.
The next day my cousin called me & told me that a representative from The Village had been there & the judge had agreed to release Edwin from jail into The Village's custody.
He is still in there today & doing great.
So when Lynda told me she needed help, I called Jim, Sharon & Frank.
Jim said, “We love Lynda. We'll find her a bed.”
Sharon & Frank said, “Just tell us when you need it, Charlie.”
In another conversation, I also told another friend of mine, who's the CEO of The Watershed; a large corporation with 3 treatment centers in Fla. & Tex.
“Our facility in Boca is for older people, in their 30's, 40's & 50's. It's very relaxed and calm. I should have bed available there on Monday if you want it, just call me.”
What do you say to people like this?
Who will give you a bed in their program that runs from $16,000 a month,
To over $25,000 a month,
And they do not want anything in return:
Except to help someone.
It is still such a new experience for me;
My addiction still whispering, “It's a trick” inside my head.
What do you say to God, who has put people like this in my life?
When you know you don't deserve it?
I met all of these people through JOURNEY magazine;
Either selling them an ad or meeting them at conferences,
But, even in an economy like this, not once have any of them asked for anything in return for helping my family.
For helping me.
To know that there are people like this in the world;
Truly caring,
Truly good,
People,
And to know these people personally,
Is a guerdon - a reward, of sobriety.
I spoke with my girlfriend today; she's doing good.
I can hear that beautiful woman I met a year ago trying to get out.
She's at the same detox center we met at.
I'd gone through it 6 times in 8 years before 'getting' it - and was working there as a night tech when she came in (and she ended up getting my job as a night tech after she finished treatment!)
They told her she's going to be there for 7 days.
They didn't charge us, either.
peace
After treatment I utilize the 12-Steps in conjunction with Wellness, simply because ego deflation and character building works. The 12-Steps belong to everybody. They are a tried and true blueprint for success without an expensive cost factor. None at all, its free. The A.A. cofounder has said, “All alcoholics resist authority figures in any shape or form. Alcoholics (no matter if ragged) are yet the most rugged of individuals, true anarchists at heart.” -Bill W., September 1945 There in probably hangs a clue to the lack of personal government in A.A. No fees, no dues, no rules, no regulations, and no demand that anyone conform to A.A. principles. Moreover, no one is given personal authority over anyone else.” We do it to save lives, and that is the key to our own sobriety. Physical sobriety is the first objective in getting well - without it, nothing can be accomplished. After detoxification is achieved and our bodies have recovered from a nutritional imbalance, a step-by-step practical plan for an overall recovery should follow. Virtually every expensive treatment center in America, including our court system - when they are finished with their costly programs, whatever that might be-afterward, they all send their clients to Alcoholics Anonymous. Some people would claim they have a cure for alcoholism, and the sick and dying go loping after their book. There is also a huge audience, barely alcoholic, who are interested in the topic of spiritual cleansing, but someone having a cure for alcoholism is a false claim. There is no cure for alcoholism. It is greater than the human-will - no pill, no drug, no liquid, no magical root or enzyme will stop its deadly march-except, abstinence. It is abstinences that makes the human heart grow fonder. To the consternation of many skeptics, A.A. is not a religious cult either, but a spiritual journey of self-discovery without dogma or creed. The 12-Steps merely set aside the false claims and other material obstacles that would block our spiritual path. The big four are, finance, romance, religion and political power. While communicating this God given common-sense, John Powell, S.J., a noted author/priest, has said to me, “George, Our thoughts are usually not original, they come from many sources and influences. If I take another persons thought, and use it as my own, it is called plagiarism, but if I take the thoughts of many and gather them into one piece of information to help others get well, then it is called research, and I like to think of myself as a great researcher...” In fact: Alcoholics Anonymous tells us to give freely of what we find. George E. Buttner www.Heartwoodcreations.org
Breaking the Denial:
In the light of modern DNA science, the hideous and tragic truth about the power alcohol has over human life now stands unclothed: 1. Of all the poisons known to medical science, alcohol is the least violent, a slow, but persistent killer. Alcohol is a hydrocarbon protoplasm poison of all life, be it plant, animal, or mankind itself. Denial is its chief symptom. 2. Alcohol is a habit forming, most alluring, deceptive and enslaving drug. 3. The toxic effects of alcohol are a specific cause of degeneracy, an active principle of death for the body, mind and soul of the individual who drinks and the ultimate sterility in his progeny. One biblical forewarning. “Those who imbibe strong drink invite mortal combat. Woe unto you…”
In today’s world, the unavoidable by-products of an alcoholics’ drinking life, are eventual insanity and death, but before this slow undoing takes place, he or she will be arrested, and find misery in a way that only the agony of the dying can comprehend. Using A.A.’s Big Book as a point of reference opened my mind to a wealth of other, better ideas not yet explored by many A.A. people. James Joyce and Carl Jung are two of the early examples, but now magazines like, www.ItsallintheJourney.com are speaking out and painting a much clearer picture of what is needed to recover. Sobriety can be a very complex puzzle, but to see a complete picture; we must explore all areas dealing with the five elements of human balance that truly work.
Humankind is elemental and alcohol causes our five elements to faultier. The entire central nervous system is damaged by alcohol - it dulls the senses and causes us to stumble and stagger. Alcohol lets disease slip through our weakened, immune-system defenses, too.
Using Wellness in conjunction with the A.A. 12-Steps, has worked with much success. That is to say, people who practice getting healthy, 1. Physically, 2. Mentally, 3. Socially, 4. Emotionally, and 5. Spiritually, can and do recover from alcoholism. This is not based on theory, a drunken brain has never found fulfillment. The facts of success are plain for all who practice these principles.
God intended for us all to be sober, for it is the way we are originally born! We humans cannot realize our complete intended potential without being sober. A new spiritual life is not about just not drinking alcohol, it is about living sober. After all, that is the way we come into the world. Besides having been there and done that (personal experience), the sober wisdom that streams out of A.A. circles, has caused me to consider many other sources of research only now being rediscovered on living sober.
George E. Buttner ~ Heartwood Creations ~ www.heartwoodcreations.org
I have read Charles's story three times now, this morning I realized that I was hearing my own story, In May my father grew suddenly ill and went into a conscious coma, it was the same scene but flipped around, I was the daughter standing there trying to comfort him all the while buzzing my head off, thinking they would numb my emotions to "keep it together" for my step mother, sister and him. I didn't think I was all that messed up; I thought I was functioning like a strong daughter and sister. I thought if I didn't take those pills that the emotions would come screaming out like a crazed baboon and everything would fall apart. I remember most of it but wish I had felt more. I remember helping plan the funeral, taking control of everything, my sister and step mom had no clue what to do, I had just helped my mother bury my grandmother in November of 2006 and then helped bury my best friend 7 months earlier, I knew what to do and I did it. I was so busy with all the arrangements and making sure everything was in its place and popping pain pills that I didn't even realize that my father lay in the casket just a few feet from me. I looked at him and it all seemed like an outer body experience, like I was watching someone who I thought was me standing there trying to force out the tears so the people at the funeral didn’t think I was a heartless POS. I couldn’t cry, I couldn’t lose control, I HAD to keep it together, they needed me to be strong. It sounds so ridiculous now. I am going through the “what if’s” the “why’s”? I feel so much guilt.
Charles, your story has helped me find GOD again. I read your story Friday morning and felt this overwhelming urge to talk to him for the first time in MANY years. To really tell him I was sorry for leaving him behind, to ask him to forgive me and to let him take over, I had the wheel held so tight my knuckles were sore and I was falling asleep at the wheel. Here GOD it’s your turn to drive I seem to be all over the road and I think I need to rest.
I just want to say thank you. Thank You Wekiva Springs Center for Recovery in Jacksonville Florida and thank GOD that I woke up.