I have more blogs than I can keep up with.  I have this and one other "writing" blog (writing.com).  I have two blogs I use to keep up with friends (Xanga and Live JOurnal). I have two blogs for my "spiritual" writing (Blogger and Beliefnet). I have a blog for whenever I work on my Chinese song translations. I send my friend blogs to my Facebook, so I don't have a separate one there. I have a MySpace and a blog, but I haven't used it in ages. There are also several little blogs on places like MyMSN, Yahoo and I don't know where else, but I won't be surprised to find more somewhere. That's ten that I remember.

And you know what?

I write now, less than I ever did. Oh, I blog on the friend blogs, but it's 90% chitchat. It's rarely any serious writing. Even less of it is poetry or fiction. The ideas pour in like rain on a lake. They're coming out like drops from a finicky dropper. My head is going to explode, soon.

Right now I'm frustrated and crotchety. I want to make myself a schedule to follow, but I'm on call, scheduled to lear a job and be ready to do it whenever I'm needed. I'm not doing this for money (although I won't mind a bit extra cash). I'm doing it for love. A family member is dying an I'm keeping his spouse's place on the job, so she can spend time with him. Nonetheless, it's frustrating.

It's even more frustrating that that's really just an excuse.  I have ADD and it boggles my when I see all I've done, when all I really wanted to do was write down a dream that was a potential story idea, or write down the thoughs I had for putting some meat on the scrawney story I call my only finished novel, or outline some thoughts for a spiritual essay (and maybe write it). I start to do it, but I see my eamail. Sometimes there's a response to a blog post. That gets me reading blogs. Sometimes I manage to avoid the blogs, but something else comes up. It doesn't matter what. Everything can lead me astray. Sometimes I don't even know what it was. Like today. I got home at about 3:30. It's now 6:17. Giving me the previous 17 minutes to have written the above, that leaves two and a half hours during which time I'm not sure what I did. I knw a couple of things, cleaned the kitty litter (UGH!), put a load of laundry in. That didn't take two and a half hours.

I need to stop this what my husband calls "whining and grining." If I'm going to dither, I should find my book of one page strategies for coping with ADD. If I could just get everyone in the house to follow some kind of schedule, that would help. Since my husband retired, I've lost the structure in my life. My mom moved in and now I don't even have to cook very often.

So why can't I figure out how to get my writing done?!?!

Yeah, I know. I need more discipline. Where do I find that?